How would you react, if a trusted friend told you she had a message for you from one of your ancestors? Although I had never experienced anything like it, I was overcome with tears hearing that my Grandma Scarpenti had chosen to be a part of my journey to guide me. She wanted me to know that I was meant to heal a family wound on my mother's side.

If you can set aside all of the - how the heck is that possible? - and - what kind of weird stuff is Sarah into now? - questions... perhaps you'll be as touched by what happened as I was.

I had been telling my husband that I needed to get away for a few days, possibly to work on a new book that I felt was stirring within me. I had pictured a weekend trip away, but even that seemed ridiculous in the midst of the busy holiday season.

After having this surprising experience with my grandma, I began to wonder if I was meant to take a journey a bit farther away. Sue Monk Kidd says - The soul often speaks through longing. I couldn't deny that the longing to connect to my Italian roots has grown steadily, ever since accidentally falling in love with growing food 8 years ago. I have spent many hours researching my ancestry, studying Italian, learning the regions of Italy with my girls, and taken long 'virtual road trips' on google maps, winding through the streets of my grandparent's birthplaces.

Last year, I had returned from our anniversary trip to Sicily, thrilled to have touched Italian soil, amazed by the beauty - yet somehow sad in a way I couldn't explain. It was kind of an "oh well" feeling. I had hoped I might find some sense of belonging there, some piece of family connection, as unlikely as I knew that to be.

This mysterious message from my grandmother, who was born in Northern Italy, left me asking an absurd question: "Maybe I'm supposed to take a trip alone to her birthplace?" When my husband said "maybe you are!", and my recent holiday event brought in exactly enough to pay for the airfare, I decided to do it.

I bought the ticket.

I was headed to Italy alone, in the middle of winter.

As I talked with my husband about this unusual experience with Grandma Scarpenti, I realized a few things. She was the ancestor I had written about most in my book - how I had stood, staring at the photo of her standing proudly in front of her green beans. My heart had been overwhelmed by the desire to ask her advice. I wished I had the knowledge of my Italian family to help me as I was just learning how to grow food. Surely she would have had so much to teach me!

I also have some of Grandma’s pasta making tools - her pasta board, rolling pin and ravioli cutter in my kitchen. I think of her whenever I use these, acknowledging in my heart how much I wish I had learned by watching her use them.

I keep a framed photo of my two Italian grandmothers hanging in my kitchen. I tell people jokingly, that they are watching me cook, asking - with their puzzled expressions - Are you sure that’s the way you want to do it?

Even though hearing from a deceased great grandmother was radically unexpected, I suppose it was not totally unusual to discover that my Grandma had been with me all along, watching as I fell in love with a very Italian way of living. To have information that she, with love - had chosen to guide me… well, that was just above and beyond what my heart could have imagined. Even as I write this, I can feel the gratitude swelling in my chest, and I’m amazed at the power of such mysterious, overwhelming love.

Truth be told, this was the second time I had been made aware that there was a connection in my life to a grandmother figure. I’m sure you’re wondering who this friend was that relayed such a curious message. After dealing with some adrenal fatigue issues and wanting to address what was going on with my health, I decided to begin seeing a friend who had just opened her own practice. For many years I had watched as she began studying herbalism, realized she was interested and gifted in energy work, and eventually began offering her own unique blend of sound therapy and plant essences. It all sounded more than a bit woo-woo, I was confused by what it all meant, and yet I trusted her completely. She is my dear friend.

I have been growing more and more amazed by nature’s generosity as I’ve engaged with plants in my gardens these past 8 years. It’s no wonder most people feel a connection to God when they are immersed in nature - and no wonder we can find so many meaningful analogies to our own lives when we stop and notice what is all around us. As I’ve gained more and more experience growing vegetables for food, I’ve picked up on the importance of companion planting - interspersing herbs and flowers, which help draw in beneficial pollinators and help protect these vegetables from certain insects. Knowing several herbalists as friends, their knowledge of the medicinal benefits of wild plants has also been a revelation.

I have fell strangely in love with so many common ‘weeds’ which had once seemed in the way of my grand garden plans. I’ve learned what so many of these humble plants have to offer - to both me, to the soil, and for the health of my animals. Common plantain (viewed by most as a weed) can be made into a quick spit poultice and natural band aid if you’re outdoors and find yourself with a cut or scrape. If immersed in oil, the healing properties can then be used topically to restore the skin.

Comfrey - a plant so generous that it will return each year in larger and larger displays of early green glory - (small root cuttings can be shared endlessly with friends) was once called ‘knit bone’ or ‘bruise wort’ for it’s ability to heal broken bones and bruising. It too, can be harvested fresh, immersed in oil to heal the skin topically. Comfrey’s leaves are so rich because of its deep tap root which mines important minerals from underground. It is an excellent addition to compost heaps or - steeped in water, makes a powerful fertilizer. Our rabbits and chickens love eating comfrey leaves whenever we prune them back, and they benefit from the rich mineral content as well.

Learning about these plant heroines has given me a sense of awe and reverence for the diversity of nature as a whole. Just like me, every aspect of nature (plant, animal, mineral) seem to have unique talents and offerings - innate divine traits woven into who they are. As I’ve become acquainted with many of them, I’ve learned that they are endlessly generous (just as I perceive the spirit of God to be) and learning about the gifts plants have to offer has enriched my life.

So, knowing that my woo-woo friend also revered plants, and was using their offerings to help heal people wasn’t new.

What was new, is that she wasn’t using herbs for their physical medicinal qualities. She was offering the spiritual essences of plants for healing.

Wait, what?

Here, I could go on a long rabbit trail and start discussing how quantum physics and the study of nano particles has led to the discovery that all matter is really, made up of… energy. If I understand even a bit of nano science, it seems that inside of an atom is a ton of space swirling around between the protons, neutrons and electrons - and it’s all held together by energy. This is crazy fascinating to me - but I think I’ll let you go and discover more of that on your own. To me, it’s a breakthrough which inevitably is leading to the uniting of science and spirituality. I can’t help but believe that this energy (which behaves differently than scientists would expect) is simply the Holy Spirit, the energy of the Divine, the Intelligence of the universe - whatever you want to call it, coursing through all that is. It reminds me of a scripture “…in Him all things hold together” Col. 1:17. Science also explains that everything (all matter) has a different vibrational frequency - everything has its own unique energy.

I grew up learning that every person has both physical gifts and spiritual gifts to offer the world. We all can agree that these aspects of ourselves are unique. What my physical self has to offer (for example - a skill for gardening or cooking) is different from my spiritual gifts - what the essence/spirit of me is here to offer.

Why wouldn’t it also be so, that all of nature would have something physical to offer the whole - as well as something spiritual?

When I went in to see my friend in her office, she spent some time using her God-given gift to asses what was going on in the unique energy of my own body. Then, she spent some time in quiet asking if any of the plant essences wanted to offer what they have to help me in my own healing. After each visit, I’d go home with a formula (made up of certain plant essences) to take throughout the next month.

In years past, this would have sounded straight up weird - and much too ‘out there’ for my comfort. Yet at this particular point of my life, the beauty of it brought me to tears. Even if I didn’t understand how, the fact that any plant (with it’s own God-given beauty and healing qualities) would want to offer itself to me, left me feeling humbled and grateful.

Once beginning this healing journey, I learned that what was going on with me was much deeper than the physical symptoms I was experiencing. It seems, those were only there to get my attention.

On a particular day a few months back, I had been struggling to be brave. I’ve found it especially scary to share more with others about the shifts I’ve been through in recent years. So much of my young life was centered on my identity as a good Christian. I’ve been scared to share the ways in which my worldview has opened up to see more in nature, understanding God’s love as wider and more inclusive than ever before. I ended up sitting with my friend, upset and confused about why I felt the need to share my story, fearful that I may end up causing hurt, confusion or pain to family and friends if I do.

That was the first time I was told that there was an ancestor in the room. She wanted me to know that I had the support of family, my friend told me. I was overcome with emotion and shock. In that moment, my dear friend had also given me one drop of an essence, and when I asked which plant it came from, she told me - oak acorn.

I covered my mouth in amazement, because that morning while working on my new favorite art form (linocut block printing) I had carved an acorn. I’ve always been drawn to acorns - I collect them as Christmas ornaments, I’ve had one hanging on my front door for years. What were the odds that I would wake up that morning and decide to carve one, and then just a few hours later, be given a drop of it’s essence? (This plant has significance later in the story as well).

My friend told me that oak acorn’s gift is to help us discover a profound knowing of why we are here in this life, at this time. The tears and comfort I felt (mixed with shock about an ancestor being with me) was profound.

I still do not understand, nor can I explain this element of the story. What I can say is that I felt overwhelming peace and love, in it and through it all.

—

So this is the backstory behind why I took an unexpected trip to Italy, alone in the middle of winter. It all started with a growing appreciation and love of plants, my friend offering a new aspect of interacting with them, and my Italian great-grandmother breaking through with a message for me. How crazy is that?

If this all sounds more bizarre than you are comfortable with, that’s OK! I know that if I had read something like this several years ago, I probably would have been turned off or scared by it.

For those of you curious enough to find out what happened next, I’ll share more next week. There are more Divine moments, strange and beautiful stories ahead...

Thanks for following along.

Sarah

Italy in winter - PART TWO

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